Children Overcoming Tragedy

I was browsing through Psychology Today when I found an article called Five Ways Children Overcome Tragedy. As a child who did have to overcome such things, I found this interesting. I wanted to look and see if I used any of these skills. Turns out, I did and I'll tell you just how I applied them to my life.

1. Focus on positive reinforcements. Basically, this is just talking about the love that is needed from surrounding adults, especially parents. As there was no way I was going to get love from my biological parents, my new family showed me more than what I knew how to take. My biggest struggle with this was accepting all they had to offer. However, once I learned how to do that, it helped immensely.
2. Maintain regular structure and routines. This provides children with a baseline - something stable. It could be anything from eating together at the dinner table to reading a bedtime story to playing a game. Whatever you choose to do, it will help the child feel secure and realize their safety. I began composing my routine right away so that I'd have something familiar. School was probably my save haven.
3. Nurture positive choices and teach problem-solving. This helps children distinguish between good and bad choices. Although sometimes it is assumed that everyone knows good from bad, that's not necessarily true. When I was growing up, my normal was completely different from everyone else's normal. My new parents did a good job of teaching me right from wrong. Believe it or not, I am still learning every day. Often times, I do things that I don't even realize are out of line. That's why my parents are there - to tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can correct it.
4. Remember every day is a new day & a new opportunity. This is so important because we're all human and we are all going to make mistakes - especially when we are healing. I still make mistakes on a daily basis, and because of my extreme personality, I'm usually go big. Either way, I am constantly reminding myself that "Just for today.." I can change things. My day can change at any given time and tomorrow begins a clean slate.
5. Understand that severe or ongoing problems require professional help. It is common for children and adults to be left with serious issues that require serious help after tragedy. I have a number of these issues. I have two counselors that I meet with weekly and many different problems to work through. This doesn't mean I'm a bad person or that I'll never heal. If anything, it makes me strong for getting the help I need. Just remember that everything takes time.

Hope this helps with others. It sure did help me(:
info from psychologytoday.com; picture from gorgeoushealthyme.com

They Got Away With MURDER!?

Five reasons why people get away with murder!

1. They know how to fit into a crowd. It's important to know that dangerous people do not look any different than your mother, grandmother, or brother. These people are different in their heads, not physically.
2. They are persuasive. They would be able to sweet talk you into anything. Heck, I can't even get my best friend to go to Sheetz' to buy me a slushie!! These people are able to make you believe that they are not dangerous and do not pose a threat to anyone.
3. They are calm, cool, and collected. They don't crack under pressure. They can commit a murder and walk away without so much as a guilty conscious. They seem to think strategically with everything and they tend not to show much emotion.
4. Contrary to what people may believe, the televison is misleading. There usually isn't much evidence left behind, if any!
5. Witnesses are scared. They don't usually come forward. And even if, by chance, they do, sometimes the whole story doesn't come out because they are trying to protect someone.

Now you know. I could never be a criminal. I crack under pressure way too easily, and, like I said, I can't even get a slushie!! (:

This guys looks normal, eh? He's one of the most popular serial killers in the United States. Yep, that's Ted Bundy.





info from psychologytoday.com
picture from google images.

Triad of Evil

Can three simple behaviors in children tell if you are going to be prone to being a murderer? Some think YES! However, others believe that this is only a sterotype. The formula, consisting of the following predicts that you will have some issues others may not, but it does not neccessarily condemn you to killing:

animal cruelty + fire setting + bed wetting = murderer!??

However, all three of these behaviors show up often in most violent criminals but just because you have them doesn not mean you are going to be a killer. It is typical for serial killers to have all three of these behaviors continue past the age of five, according to a research study conducted by various criminologists.

info from psychologytoday.com

Crime And Mental Illness

Often, people who commit violent crimes are suffering from one mental illness or another. It is typically one of the first things people think of. Do we really know what mental disorders they are though? Here's a list of mental disorders that are commonly catalysts behind violent crimes. The ones that are in bold are found more often.

• Anxiety disorders
• anxiety due to a general medical condition
• substance-induced anxiety
• generalized anxiety disorder
• panic disorder
• acute stress disorder
• post-traumatic stress disorder
• adjustment disorder
• obsessive-compulsive disorder
• social phobia
• Delirium
• Delusional disorder
• Dementia 
• Impulsive control disorders
• Intoxication or withdrawal from medications or drugs
• Mood disorders
• Major Depression
• Anxiety Disorder
• Bipolar Disorder 
• Personality Disorders
• Anti-social Personality disorder
• Autism
• Schizoaffective disorder
• Schizophrenia 
• Substance dependence and abuse
• Traumatic brain injury

Keep in mind though that people do not commit these crimes because they have the disorders. There is always more to it. The scary thing is that most of us could look at this list and pick out more than one disorder that we ourselves have. Just looking at this list, I myself have four of these disorders! 

info from emedicine.medscape.com

Juvenile Delinquency Pt. 2

Because juvenile court differs so much from a regular court system, the terms used differ as well. Here is a quick list so you know what you're talking about:

Juvenile Term                                        Adult Term

Adjucation                                             Conviction of guilty

Adjustment                                           Referring to plea bargaining

After-care                                             Parole

Commitment                                        Sentence to imprisonment

Delinquent act                                      Crime

Detention                                              Holding in jail

Dispositional hearing                           Sentencing hearing

Hearing                                                 Trial

Petition                                                 Accusation/Indictment

Residental Care Facility                     Halfway House

Shelter                                                  Jail

Take into custody                              Arrest

Contrary to what some may believe, juveniles have the right to counsel, the right to early written notification of the charge, the right to confront and cross-examine one's accuser, the right to remain silent, and protection from self-incrimination.

Keep in mind, I'm not telling anyone to go out and become a juvenile delinquent, nor am I making excuses for them. I am simply attempting to inform the public on the nature of how a juvenile's behavior becomes delinquent.

info from http://www.yale.edu/

Juvenile Delinquency Pt.1

How does juvenile behavior become delinquent? When? What happens as a result?

• Statistics show that broken homes, the order of birth, and family size are huge contributors to who may become a juvenile delinquent. In 1950, 40.5 million children were living in families with both a father and a mother while 4.1 million children were living within broken families. In 1970, there were about 7.6 million minors growing up with only one parent or with neither. In 1966, every three marriages ended in divorce and the number of children in broken homes significantly increased. Because of this, children are spending more time alone, thus leaving them with emotional voids that they try to fill by acting out.
• The result of this has increased the number of runaways, teenage suicides, teenage parenthood, etc.
• Most girls are arrested for running away, being involved in a gang, and/or sex offenses.
• Most boys are arrested for vandalism, theft, assault, rape, drugs, and some major offenses.

Discipline in the home relating to delinquent behavior:

• When family realtions are disturbed, it is more likely that children will become delinquents. There are three main contributing factors:
• careless or inadequate supervision by the mother;
• erratic or overly strict discipline;
• lack of cohesiveness of the family unit.
• Types of discipline:
• Sound - consistant and firm control but not strict enough to cause fear;
• Fair - control which is indefinate: sometimes strict, somtimes relaxed;
• Unsound - extremely relaxed OR extremely strict which either gives unrestrained acts of freedome or restricts to the point of rebellion.

info from http://www.yale.edu/

Tragedy Due To Bad Parenting

There's a four year-old child dead and his mother is wounded. Because of the investigation that is taking place, police believe that the boy's mother was sleeping and that the boy was standing beside her bed. Police do not think that this was the first time the boy had handled the gun because he'd been seen playing with it in the past.

Bad parenting or bad parenting? How do you let your children play with a gun? How do you let your gun unsecured? A four year-old doesn't have much knowledge of a gun, typically. Because of these careless actions, an innocent four year-old is dead. How tragic.

info from topix.com